Pregnant? Call 1-800-972-9225 or
text 415-355-4636 with your questions.


Finding the Words FAQ


The following questions are adapted from our Finding the Words Workshop. For additional information about adoption call Adoption Connection at 1-800-972-9225.

How do I bring up adoption with a woman experiencing an unplanned pregnancy?
A woman receiving news that her pregnancy test is positive may feel many different emotions, including joy, worry, excitement, and/or confusion. 
She may initially want to be alone or with a loved one to sort out her feelings in private. As her counselor it is your job to give non-judgmental support and information that can be useful to her in the days that follow. 

We suggest using open-ended statements and questions that help open up a conversation. 

A few suggestions:

  • • "I see you are feeling pretty overwhelmed right now, and this is normal. I want to talk with you about all of your options, including adoption.  Do you know adoption has changed?"
  • • "I want to make sure you have all the information you need to make an informed choice.  I want to talk to you a little bit about open adoption and how it works…”
  • • " I am required to go over all of your options at this meeting to make sure you have as much information as possible before you leave here today…”

Adoption Counseling Tips:

  • • Address adoption just as you would any other pregnancy option.
  • • Make sure she has written material to take and read later.
  • • Be non-judgmental and respectful.
  • • Have a few key phrases that you feel comfortable using and practice them with your colleagues.
  • • Incorporate positive adoption terminology into your everyday language. For example, instead of saying “give up a baby for adoption,” try “ place your baby in an adoptive home.”

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What if I don't have the answers to all of her adoption questions?
Call Adoption Connection. We can give you the information to answer your client’s questions completely, or we can speak directly to your client. 

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When should I refer a prospective birthmother to Adoption Connection?
Anytime you feel that you are working with a birthmother (or father) who would benefit from adoption information, or who seems interested in exploring the idea of placing her (or his) baby for adoption.

Call us on our toll free number at 1(800) 972-9225, and we can start helping.

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What can I tell her about the birthfather's rights?
Birthfather rights in an infant adoption vary from state to state.

It is a good idea to let a prospective birthmother know that usually an adoption can take place, even if she feels the birthfather may not be very supportive. The birthfather will need to know that an adoption will be taking place.

He, like the birthmother, can be involved in an open adoption. We can contact him, or the birthmother can contact him directly.

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What if a woman is in labor or has already given birth?
It is not too late to make an adoption plan.

We work with women when they are in labor or after they have already delivered their babies. We have loving families who can begin parenting immediately.

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What kind of things do you go over in the Finding the Words workshop?
Our free workshop is offered to social services agencies, clinics, hospitals, or any professional working with pregnant women.

Workshop topics include:

  • • How open adoptions work (legally, logistically, and emotionally)
  • • Presenting adoption as an option to a woman facing an unplanned pregnancy
  • • The myths and realities of the open adoption process
  • • When and how to make a referral.

Our experienced staff can tailor the discussion and the topics to the needs of the staff and bring materials and brochures to help counselors talk about adoption.
Adoption Connection would be happy to meet you and your staff. To order brochures and other birthparent information or to schedule a workshop Contact Us.

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