Adoptive parents prepare themselves for first time parenting
just like biological parents do. They read how-to books,
quiz their family and friends, and use their own personal
experience caring for infants and children. More and more
couples and singles are also looking into taking infant
care workshops to better prepare themselves for the joys
and challenges of a baby's arrival. We asked Georgia
Montgomery, a Perinatal Educator and Childbirth Doula,
to answer a few questions about what adoptive parents should
expect from newborn care classes.
- Why do you think an
infant care class is a good idea?
In the past we had the wise woman of the village going
from hut to hut giving new mothers the advice and wisdom
that
came from experience and training. Now we have to fend
for ourselves! A newborn care class can provide important "operating
instructions." Topics include information on infant
health, sleep, feeding, bonding and helping new parents
to understand what is "normal." Hands-on practice
with diapering and swaddling is helpful as well as learning
comforting techniques for fussy babies. You can also learn
what products are safe to use with your baby such as equipment,
newborn skin care lotions… the list goes on.
- Is
there a benefit to having a class tailored to adoptive
parents?
Many adoptive parents have told me that they feel self
conscious about sitting in a room full of pregnant moms
with big bellies.
Although adoptive parents are certainly expecting a baby
too, that particular situation sometimes makes them feel
awkward or excluded. In my classes (and other classes for
adoptive parents) everyone is in the same boat and asking
a lot of the same type of questions.
- Is there anything
different about adoptive parents caring for newborns than
biological parents doing so? If so what?
Good question. After 14 years of work with newborns, including
many of their adoptive parents, I'm convinced that there's
nothing different at all! Case in point: Some adoptive
parents simulate breastfeeding while some biological moms
never breastfeed
at all. It is really all about loving, touching, attending,
listening and taking good care of the baby's physical needs.
That's the job of every parent adoptive or not. A parent
is anyone who takes loving, nurturing care of a child.
- What
do you like best about working with adoptive parents?
There seems to be an openness and unique appreciation for
the new little life they've brought into their home. Adoptive
parents have a profound and consuming desire to include
a child in their lives; that is very inspiring to me.
- What
are some good "rules of thumb" you give
adoptive parents?
Well, it's really the same for all parents, although many
adoptive parents have expressed to me the concern that
they're afraid they don't have the same instincts a biological
parent
has when it comes to infant care. They certainly do have
good instincts! One doesn't have to be pregnant to have
good parenting skills. I advise apprehensive parents to
find ways
to feel more confident — like taking classes and
reading, but most of all I tell them to trust their instincts
and
use common sense when dealing with their new baby.
- Any
last pieces of advice for adoptive parents with an infant?
Since the adoption process has its own set of challenges
and emotional stressors adoptive parents may be holding
their baby, looking into the sweet little face, and it
suddenly
hits them… "Now what?!" Some adoptive parents
think about preparing the baby's room in advance, but they
may not fully prepare themselves for baby care.
My advice:
Go ahead and prepare the baby's room if you must, but also
prepare yourself. Get good, current medical
and
practical information. Educate and empower yourself, and
you will learn to trust your instincts! You'll be very
glad you did, and both you and baby will benefit in the
long run.
Adoption Connection will be hosting another Infant
Care Class with Georgia this spring. Georgia's Web
Site is: www.birthsisters.com.
Written by Leah Sheldon © 2005. Adoption Connection. All Rights Reserved.
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